Chynkeye3’s Weblog

Well today makes it offical. Austin and I have been married for two years today. Guess how we are celebrating? I am doing yard work. I mowed the lawn and pulled up boards. This is so much fun….yeah right. I wish that we had more money cuz I really wanted to do something nice…but we have to save to go home. I guess that we will celebrate later. I think that austin said something about going to a movie tonight its something little but at least it is somthing. I know that it would be a lot better if we had more money to blow, maybe when we are in Japan next year on our anniversary it will be better. Maybe we will go into Tokyo and celebrate. That would be awsome.I wonder what our five year anniversary will be like.

I was looking at some of my old entries and relized that I sure do bitch alot.
Guess that I am one of those people that need to vent all of the time.

Also wanted to up date the whole airforce thing…
I am glad that Austin went into the service and chose this career field. If he hadnt I dont know what we would be doing right now. probably rotting away in lake county, pretty much like everyone else.

I am so excited about going to Japan for four years I cant wait to see what it is like. Hopefully Austin will like it too.

About our relationship…I know that I just did alot of bitching and all but really that was the first serious arguement that we have had in a really long time. We get along great here. He is usually a really thoughtfull and understanding person and we always talk everything out. We always let eachother know what is going on and he always includes me into everything. Not like how he was in Florida before we broke up. He aways asks me if I want to go with him and hang out with his friends and I go sometimes and other times I would just rather be by myself. I know that he needs alone time with his friends. So I give that to him. I just hope that he doesnt do the same stupid shit like what he is doing now when we both are in Florida. He better include me in everything when we get back. I know there will be certain times that he will want to be by himself and that is ok I just dont want him to go off all of the time by himself and leave me out. I dont think that I would be able to handle it. We would so argue if that happened. I dont think that I would ever forgive him if he did that to me.

well that is all for now…nothing new…besides that.

Well the night before last me and Austin got into a huge argument and I was compleatly pissed. The problem was he went home on emergency medical leave right? Well instead of spending most of his time with his mother in the hospital he decides that hes going to use this time to socialize with everyone. He was staying up unitl all hours of the night and morning and doing everything except for spending time with his mother. On top of all of that crap he didn't have any time to talk to me because it was more important to him to spend time with people that he hadn't seen in a year and a half. Now dont get me wrong…I understnad that he hasnt seen these people in forever but he could take 15 min. out of his “busy” schedule a night and fucking talk to his wife. (Who by the way was fucking sick as a dog because of the stupid Montana weather. This screwed up place…one day its like 75 degrees and the next day its raining and like 30 then the next min it decides to snow. I have never seen a place that is so screwed up on its seasons before.) So I start yelling at him because he said that he would call me back and he didnt. Hes like well you didnt give me enought time I just walked in the fucking door. Its like 2:30 am there and how was I supposed to know that the stupid movie (Troy) was like three hours long. W.T.F.E. Anyways so he starts yelling at me and I am like crying and I dont feel good and all I wanted to do was talk to him for like 10 or 15 min. but hes like I want to visit, pretty much like telling me that he doesnt have time for me…ass. Then I am like dont you miss me? Hes like NO! (fucker) That set me off. Hello, I am his fucking WIFE! He can give up like 10 min. of his prescious time and talk to me, expecially when he knows that I am sick and all by my self. I am so sorry if I was being selfish and wanting my husband to talk to me for a few minutes so I didnt feel like I was being totally dissed and forgotten about. Besides he wasnt taking this trip to socialize with everyone he was supposed to be there to fucking be with his mom. Anyways we ended up talking everything out and it ended with me giving in as usual so hes still out doing whatever he wants …hes at the stupid muddhole right now. Hope hes having fun cuz hes not getting laid for like an entire week when he gets home. He really pissed me off this time and thats what he gets. He should have used his brain.
I am still sick and I am supposed to be cleaning the house for the inspection but I think that I will wait until Austin gets home why should I do it all by my self …he is having all of the fun let him come home and do a little slave work too.

Change, somtimes its good.
Other times its bad.

Well the good is: Austin and I are supposed to be going to Japan.
The bad : After we get there Austin is going to put in for orders to Florida.

His Mom isn't doing to good right now and I understand that he wants to be close to his mom because what if something were to happen to her? If he wasn't there he would be devistated and I honestly don't know what I could do to help him. So I know how he feels about wanting to be near to her. The thing that am down about is ITS JAPAN MAN!!! This place has always been my dream and I can't believe that we are going its like a dream come true to me. Like I will ever in a million years be able to have an opportunity like that again. I dont really know if Austin feels the same way, he doesnt seem to be as excited about it as I am, but I guess part of that is because of his mother.

I havent said anything to anyone about this and I don't plan on it that would just be too selfish. I dont want to seem like a totally shallow person…I just feel that it sux inside. Not only cuz of Japan but I dont like to see Austin hurt and I know that he is worring right now. His mom goes in for open heart surgery tomorrow and god I hope everything is alright. If something goes wrong I wont be able to be there for him. That would be the worst thing in the world to happen. His mom is so great and I would be crushed if anything would happen to her too.

(I am soo getting sick. My stupid nose is running and stuffed at the same time and my left side of my throut is all scratchy and my dumb ear is all clogged on the left side… I feel like shit.)

I wish that I could be there right now but I am stuck in Montana rotting away. Actually I am here because I have to be here when the movers come to pick up the last shippment of our stuff. Which means that by tomorrow afternoon I will have absolutely nothing exept for my clothes and the computer and a blow up matress that has a leak in it that I can't find and it keeps deflating. Stupid thing. Last night I woke up surrounded by plastic on both sides…I had sunk into the stupid bed and I was laying on the ground, but because I was surrounded by all of the plastic I was completely drenched in sweat…it was so grose.