Chynkeye3’s Weblog

Oh my god!!!!!!!!!! Liliona took her first really good steps. She walked to me four times taking an average of five to eight steps at a time. I was so excited, every time that she did it I would pick her up when she got to me and yell “yay lili” I was so excited that I almost cried. I cant belive how big and grown up she is getting. Its just so amazing to me. I never imagined that going these small accomplishments would be such an amazing thing. Its like nothing I have ever experienced before. The joy is just overwhelming.

I bought her some of these stackable cups that go into the bathtub, they are whinie the pooh. In one night she figured out how to stack them up on the holder. Its incredable how fast she can learn something. Once she started doing it she did it over and over. I had to show her quite a few times first but once she did it she didnt want to stop.

She can say Momma, Dadda, bye-bye, go, bath, and no but it sounds more like nay,nay. She has just started the pointing thing. She has been pointing to everything. I have been working with her on her face. eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and hair. She can point to her mouth, eyes, and ears but hasnt figured out the nose yet. She can recognize so many things. I am so proud, excited and awed all at once. I really do love being a mother.

Well it was a good day today. I and lili played for a while and she figured out how to blow on my skin like you do to make the farting noise. Like when you blow on someone’s stomach. She did that for like fifteen minutes today and we both just giggled like crazy. Its times like these that make you love having a baby. Well, up until the point where she got a little too excited and bit me. I still have a red mark on my arm, just like the one on my shoulder from yesterday. She was pissed off at me yesterday and wanted something that I couldn’t figure out what and decided to bite me really hard. It wasn’t as bad as the time that she bit my finger in the e-club and made me bleed all over. I was trying to feed her some of the food on my plate and she latched a hold of my right pointer and bit so hard that she made me gush. It hurt so bad I drew my hand back in a fist. I wanted to punch her, but duh, she is a baby and I would never do that, I couldn’t discipline her because we were out in public and I don’t want anyone thinking that I am a bad mother and calling the cops on me. So my mom was there and she took lili out to the car while I fixed my finger and paid the bill. That was the last time that I have taken her to a public place to eat. I think it will be a while before I do that again.
I think that lili really does enjoy playing with Hayden, because if I go a day and she doesn’t see him then she gets all crabby and goes to the front door trying to get out. she will sit in front of the door and just cry until I pick her up and distract her with some toys but the second that I walk away she is right back to the door wanting to go out.
When we came home from Laura’s house today she was really crabby but I can’t blame her. Her poor littlie tush was beet red. She has had problems today and gone to the bathroom too much. I had to put some lanolin on it to make her calm down. It was so cute, when I said do you want to go bath time? She looked up at me and said bath, although it sounded more like baff. But it was really cute. She gets all excited at bath time. It is the highlight of her day. When we get into the bathroom she goes to the edge of the tub and stands there waiting for me to put her in. I tell her arms up and she raises her arm so I can take her shirt off. Then when I go to pull her pants down she lifts up her legs so I can pull them off. It’s so amazing seeing all of the little things that we all take for granted become an accomplishment as they grow. I love everything about her, even when she bites me; you have to take the good with the bad.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, she finally gave me kisses tonight when I asked her to. She only did it once but it was so cute. My little girl is getting so big.

we are supposed to be doing a narritive for our project this week. it is suppose dto be aobut a life changing event. so what do i do? i pick the crappiest topic possible, when i used to be a cutter. yes i know i am pathetic. i dont need any lectures. i used to slice my arm, wrist, leg, hand, whatever was accessable at the time. it was the only way that i knew how to deal with my anger, rage, flustration, and pain. I was young. i dont do it anymore, but i really have to work at it. i never did it to kill myself, it was just an outlet for the bad things that i couldnt deal with like everyone else. i dont really like confrontation unless it is a must. and i dont fight physically with the ones that i love and care about, even if they do happen to get violent with me. anyways so this is the topic that i chose, and it is about how my husband helped me stop.

on to brighter things. austin finally has a day off and that is good. i really do worry about him over there. he has so much to be depressed about and seems to be handling it well. i wish that we talked more on the phone, wait let me rephrase. i wish that we had more to talk about on the phone. its like when he calls my mind does one of two things. one i ramble like a babbling idiot or two i cant think of a drelling thing to say. he doesnt help the situations out either. he never has anything to tell me. obvously he cant tell me about what it is that he does over there, but you would think that he would have something to say.

well lili just decided to wake up…its almost midnight…fun.

Wow so i am starting college again and I was told that I had to start keeping a journal and what better way to do that than on live journal. Right? well I guess let me start with ….HOLY SHIT THERE IS SO MUCH CRAP TO DO IN THE CLASS THAT I AM TAKING!!!!!!!!! Man have I gotten so freaking lazy in my old age. I can’t stand doing so much work in such a little amount of time anymore. I liked it better when I was still in school and it was all shit work. Like you cover one topic a day and that was it like it only took like ten min. to freaking do the work and the rest of the class you sat there and just wrote notes to your friends. How fucking great was that shit? Well anyway it’s not like that anymore and I can’t travel back in time, so I guess that I will just have to deal with it. I think that this is going to t keep me on my toes this time. Its only one class but the way that it is starting out I don’t think I could handle much more than that for right now. Not only do we have to do a journal, we have to do a paper every two weeks and we have to keep track of this thing called a smart chart. Where you keep track of how many grammar mistakes you make and spelling errors. Along with there are other conferences and shit that you have to do through out the week. I thought that taking online classes was suppose to be work at your own pace but its really not because they expect you to have like all of the time in the word an be able to spend like fucking 12 hours a day on stuff.
Sorry but I don’t have that much time. It’s bad enough that I don’t really sleep that much during the day anymore and I don’t get that much sleep at night. Frell, when am I supposed to have any me time? to top everything off frelling UMUC decided to put me into a face to face class and then take there sweet ass time correcting the error. Bloody hell!!!!

On a better topic, liliona meeka went in for her one year check-up today and was given a good bill of health. She is weighing in at 26lbs. and 7 oz. she is 31 and 1/2 inches long. They said that she is in the 95th percent on her height and in the 50to 70th percent for her weight. So that is really good. I told them about how she has not wanted to eat anything except for fruit and they said that it was probably because of the cold she has. He said it would go away and that if I wanted I could give her a half teaspoon of benadryl. The only concerns that the doctor had when he looked at her legs were, I can't remember what he called it by name but it is where if she is sitting down facing you, you can take her leg and from the knee down twist it inward toward the floor and her toes will face completely down almost to the side. Try that one out…it doesn’t work well unless you have messed up feet like me. When she sits on her knees with her feet tucked behind her, her feet are completely off to the side behind her. She kind of looks like a frog. He said that she shouldn't sit like that and to try and stop her. He said that its not going to hurt her but it will make her look funny when she walks. No, leg braces won’t help. I asked. He said that most commonly it should clear up around age 8 to 10 as long as I really stay after her.
Well that is all for now. I need some sleep sometime….seeing as how I will be back up in like five hours anyways.