Chynkeye3’s Weblog

Confusing thoughts.

I am in a slightly weird frame of mind. I watched DVD today on the Kama sutra and then a different DVD about quantum physics. How do these two things make for my confusing dilemma you ask? Well here it is. I was laying in bed tonight and obviously it is like four in the morning and here I am posting to my journal, I can’t think until I get this idea out of my head. As I was laying in bed I started to think about all of the things that I watched to day on the Kama sutra DVD about how you are supposed to be open and through about your passions. How you are supposed to please one another in all of your sexual fantasies. I started thinking about my sexual fantasies and how I have always loved women. I started thinking about the quantum physics and how they were talking about one particle being in thousands of different places all at the same time. That it was the same particle not a different one and that it was in multiple places. I kept thinking how freaking awesome that would be. How I wish that I could have my cake and eat it too sort of thing.

Well here is my dilemma. I am a very jealous person and tonight it dawned on me that if there were another person in my life that it was say a lesbian or a bisexual woman how my life could be so much easier. Now anyone who knows me will tell you that I am completely against threesomes’ that having a threesome is the quickest way to end a marriage. However tonight I was thinking just the opposite. If there were another woman in the picture that loved me just as much as I loved her and there would be no worries about her stealing my husband away because she would be loved by both of us and not need to steal him, how fucking great would that be. We all would live together and have our families together she would help me with my children and I would help her if she had any. We would do everything together including please each other. Now how do I make this seem right in my head….well the thought was that because she would be bi too she would fall in love with me and she would know full well from the start that she would never marry Austin, I would be his only legal wife, because I was the first. But that she would never have to worry about anything. It would be as if she was married to both of us. I would have my woman lover and my male lover. The fucking best of both worlds. She would be treated just as I am with all of the respect and expectations just as me. But instead of this being me cheating on Austin or him cheating on me we would both have the same feelings for her and she us. She would be there to comfort me when Austin was gone and she would be there to comfort him when I was gone and I wouldn’t have to worry about if he loved me or her more because she wouldn’t be stealing him away she would be in love with me as well.

This sounds so fucked up when you put it on paper but it really does sound good in my head for some reason. I can understand now why the Indians in India have more than one wife. Or why the Japanese and Chinese have more than one concubine. Only most of them I don’t think are bisexual, which is why my idea would work out so much better… no one could be jealous because everyone would be with everyone. We all would live like a big family, with no worries about who gets what.

See this is the kind of shit that happens when you have been depraved of sex for six months… you get fucking desperate and have to work out these elaborate fantasies in your head to stay half way sane, although at the moment I feel a little crazed at myself.

Ok…so everyone thinks that I’m crazy now…lets have the comments….I’m sure they are going to be good.

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I want everyone who reads this to ask me 4 questions. No more, no less.

Ask me anything you want. Make the interesting, funny, or incredibly personal. Its up to you.

Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
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I am strongly confused at this point. Course the hi-powered, kick ass narcotics are helping a bit, but that isnt the point. My supposed loving husband that is in the god forsaken desert says that the internet place is shut down. Yet my friends husband is able to get on windows messenger and IM me a cute little “hey what's up”. Since they are both deployed together at the same place, my head is currently spinning the question around, “How the hell is that possible if the internet is down?”. There must be a good explination for this. However if there is not, then there is fixin (yes I said it, FIXIN,) to be a huge blow up. I dont like being lied to in person, let alone from half way around the world. (ok so its more like a quarter world away) Whatever that's not the frelling point either. ( can you tell the drugs are nice. I fucking love percocet…..ITS NICE!!!) what was i talking about…oh yeah. the internet thing. well what doesnt add up is if the internet isnt down why would my husband tell me it is? is he lying because he is just lazy and doesnt want to walk over to the place and get on? or let me get straight to the point and just fucking say what is on my mind. is he fucking cheating on me and doesnt have time for me anymore? I haven't had that “gut” feeling yet so i am not sure what to think. but things are not adding up the way that they should. he has been going for like two or three days at a time and not calling me for the past three weeks. he hasnt been talking about sex like he normally does, and anyone that knows my husband will definately tell you that sex is the only thing on his brain 24/7. he hardly talks to me when he is on the phone and its driving me nuts. i am done being the brave understanding wife. i want to know what the fuck is going on. i have had enough and i am going to call him on it. cici if you read this dont tip your husband off to what i am writing…i dont want joe to get to him before i do so austin can make up some kind of story. well…so anyways…with my meds kicking in further…um…i would just like to finish ukp this with a little side note…um…percocet rules!!! husbands suck!!! im going to bed…he better call me in the morning…and i better freakin remember being mad, so i can yell at him. ok bye.